The Face I Wear

The face I wear is never sad.
It's never angry and never mad.

The face I wear never cries.
It's never bitter but it always lies.

The face I wear covers my pain.
The face I wear covers my fear.
The face I wear hides who I am.
It hides my sorrows and hides my pain.

The face I would like to see.
But the face I wear is always a lie.

The face I wear is what you see.
But that face
is not really me

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Trust No One

This is a poem about losing a friend. Sometimes we grieve a friend we lost but sometimes we grieve the friendship that was never there. It makes it difficult for us to open up again, but we need to be open. If we are not, then we lose the chance of making a real friend. 

No one to trust

Nowhere to go
I roam the streets looking
For help, for trust, for someone
To believe me and take me in

My heart is empty and hurt
From the pain of losing you
Losing what I thought was
Trust, hope and a friend

Naïve and stupid, now I trust no one
Are they all lies?

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Before the Sun

The alarm rings in my ear.
The morning light is still so far away.
I pull my covers over my head and groan.
Another day the same as the rest.
The smell of coffee fills the air.
The warm shower meets me with another groan.

I drive to work the moon greets me for.
The sun has not awoken yet.
Same roads each day,
I sip my coffee as I drive.
Driving in silence as I try to wake.

Each morning more of the same.

The alarm rings in my ear.
The morning light is still so far away.
I pull my covers over my head and groan.

Another day the same as the rest.
The smell of coffee fills the air.
The warm shower meets me with another groan.

I drive to work the moon greets me for,
The sun has not awoken yet.
I sip my coffee as I drive,
Driving in silence as I try to wake.

Each morning more of the same.

The alarm rings in my ear.
The morning light is still so far away.
I pull my covers over my head and groan.

Another day the same as the rest.
The smell of coffee fills the air.
The warm shower meets me with another groan.

I must face today another day.

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Be Still

My head won’t be quiet.

Spinning and running it never stops.
Songs playing at the same time.
Thoughts of the day and days before.
Memories keeping me awake.
It Plaques my existence.

Be still my soul
Be still and sleep.

Sitting up in bed while everyone sleeps.
Wondering when it will be my turn.
When will the voices cease and I can rest?
Replaying events of the past.
Wishing they were different, Wishing I could change. 

Be still my soul.
Be still and sleep.

Be still and hear God.
Block all else out and only hear Him.

Pacing back and forth,
And rocking.
The noises never stop.
Pieces of songs, bits of advice.
Filling my mind keeping me awake.

Be still my soul.
Be still and sleep.
Be still my soul.
Be still and rest.

Block all the noise out. 
And only hear God’s voice.

Be still and only hear him.
Block all else out and only hear him.
He is calling to you!

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Until You

Love was always a puzzling thought. 
An ideal that was absent for most. 
Love was something foreign in my mind. 
Love was lost to me until you. 

Until you, I had no idea what love was. 
Until you, I was selfish and self-centered. 
Until you, love was just an idea. 
Until you, I was selfish and self-centered. 
Until you, love was just a word. 

Love was a common work, But the impact of such love.
I had not known until you. 
You came into my world, 
You knew my voice. 
My heart filled with joy. 

Until you, I had no idea what love was. 
Until you, I was selfish and self-centered. 
Until you, love was just an idea. 
Until you, I was selfish and self-centered. 
Until you, love was just a word. 

You held my finger, 
And I knew love was. 

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Never Change Your Heart

frozen wave against sunlight
Photo by Hernan Pauccara on Pexels.com
You give to others, but it is not enough.
They want more and more until you have nothing to give. 
When you have nothing to give, they leave.
They leave in search of another that can give more.

This is not your fault, 
Your act of kindness was from your heart. 
Your love does not go unnoticed. 

You may feel foolish for helping,
but never feel foolish for doing the right thing. 
For those who take advantage of you, have to live with themselves.
Never change who you are.

Never change your heart.
It is the others who need to change who they are. 

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Changes

I see the changes in you. 
It saddens me but you won’t know or care.
Do you feel lost? Do you want to scream? 
Do you see and feel the changes in yourself?

I know we don’t talk anymore;  
I know you don’t want me around. 
But then I see the changes in you and they worry me.

I pray for you, but you will never know.  
I pray that you see the light again.
I pray that you surround yourself with goodness.

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I am Tired

Photo by Mathilde Langevin on Unsplash

I am tired of pretending that I am okay when I’m not.
I am tired of trying to be someone that I’m not.
You don’t like me as I am; you want me to change, but why.
I am tired of making excuses for how I act.
Why did I try to work on things when no one else cares?


I am tired of being lonely but if that is what I have to do to be myself so be it.
I am angry and want to last out but it won’t matter.


Nothing I say or do matters to them.
They don’t care what happens to me.


I want to cry and lay on the bed all day, but it won’t solve anything.
I want to lash out but it won’t matter.
Nothing matters.

Too Young

Failure, disappointment and regret.
There is an ache in my heart each time we lose another.
For all that are lost, this despair won’t dissolve.

How could we have done more?
What could I have done?
Why do so many lives end this way? 

The pain and sickening feeling each time I get the news.
Another one lost, and still another. 
What can be done, when so many are lost.

What can we do to stop this?
Too young to be a statistic. 

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Worrying and Waiting

My fingers and feet move constantly as I sit waiting.
I pace back and forth and try not to think of what lies ahead of me. 

When will this be over?
This fear I have inside.
When will I know?
And stop the constant waiting that is eating away my soul. 

I can’t sit still. I have to keep moving. 
Keeping busy, to keep my mind filled.
The dishes, the laundry, vacuuming, anything I can.

My thoughts race to what will happen and I plan for the worst.
I play out scenarios and worry myself even more. 

I find myself constantly checking, every moment I have. 
Still nothing and my heart beats even faster than before. 
How can it take so long? 

I look for results.
I check over and over again.
I keep looking for answers,
My heart can’t handle the unknown.

I pace back and forth.
Fidget in my seat.
Tap my feet and twiddle my thumbs,
But nothing helps me to realize my stress.

The waiting and not knowing.
The waiting and unknown are eating away at me. 
Worrying brings nothing but despair. 

 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27.

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