Time

Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash

 

 

I watch the hours tick by,

Waiting to hear from you.

Your soothing voice,

Comforts my soul.

 

The hours feel like an eternity,

Without you here.  Endless it seems.

 

Time drags on as I wait to hear from you.

Now you are here and time speeds up. 

 

Once you leave, and I will go back to waiting,

Time stands still as I wish you were here. 

 

Longing to feel your warm embrace

Longing to hear your voice and share your sweet smile

 

The houses once again tick by slowly till we meet again. 

 

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Faith/Trust

Photo by Jen Palmer on Unsplash

 

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

Is this my job to pick up the pieces when you fall.

You put your faith in others but then want me to have faith in you?

You didn’t think of me and impulsively act.

You push me aside and only think of yourself. 

You never think of me. You never think!

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

How can I have faith in someone like you? 

Will I be alone my entire life and think of yourself?

You never think of me!

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

How can I have faith in someone like you?

Will I be alone my entire life?

Do I forgive and move one?

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

Will you come running back to me?

Asking for another chance? Asking for love and faith

For you just to leave again.

Why should I care what you do and how you do it?

Why does this still matter to me? Why do you matter?

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

My heart can only take so much.

Hurt so many times,

How do I heal from it?

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

Will everyone leave?

Do I even bother starting again?

Don’t get to be happy?

 

Be Still

landscape photography yellow and green leafed trees

 Photo by mili_ radic97 on Unsplash

 

My head won’t be quiet.

Spinning and running it never stops.

Songs playing at the same time.

Thoughts of the day and days before.

Memories keeping me awake.

Plaquing my existence.

 

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and sleep.

 

Sitting up in bed while everyone sleeps.

Wondering when it will be my turn.

When will the voices cease and I can rest?

Replaying events of the past.

Wishing they were different, Wishing I could change. 

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and sleep.

 

Be still and hear God.

Block all else out and only hear Him.

 

Pacing back and forth,

And rocking.

The noises never stop.

Pieces of songs, bits of advice.

Filling my mind keeping me awake.

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and sleep.

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and rest.

 

Block all the noise out.

And only hear God’s voice.

 

Be still and only hear him.

Block all else out and only hear him.

He is calling to you!

Worthy

grace

Photo by Olivia Snow on Unsplash

 

Worthy

How do I tell you,  you are worthy?
You are fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are worthy,
You are worthy.
How do I tell you, you are worthy?

You are fearfully and wonderfully made;

You are worthy! God knows you are worthy.

 

You can’t do anything to take away

From the love, God has for you.

You are worthy; He knows you’re worthy.

God says you are worthy, you are worthy.

Worthy!

 

The Lord of Light created you and you are worthy,

Worthy, Worthy!

Let the light of your face shine on the world.

Because you are worthy. Worthy!

 

Show them the grace and the love he has for you,

And they will see you are worthy.

They will see that they are worthy.

 

Show them the love God has for them.

Show them the grace and the love he has for you,

They will see they are worthy,

You are worthy.

To Buy or Lease?

car

Need a new car? What do you do?  I faced the dilemma of needing a new car earlier this month. My old car served us well for many years but now we needed to fix it or get a new one. My old care was stalling when we stopped, so I brought it to our mechanic and we found the car had an oil leak, a transmission problem, and various other problems. We had to decide if it was worth it to pour more money into this car or use the money to put down on a car. We had a few things to consider. Do we look at used car lots, buy a car or lease one? 

I didn’t want to buy a used car. In the past, I had bad experiences with used cars, so I didn’t want to buy a used one.  When you buy a used car, most times you are just trading your car’s problems for someone else’s. The car needed to be reliable and safe. I knew I didn’t want a used car. 

My next question was whether to lease or buy. To answer this question, I had to weigh the pros and cons of each and decide what I can afford. First, when you buy a new car, your payments will be higher than that of a lease.  My insurance will be high both whether I lease or buy so I didn’t need to worry about that right now. Either way, I will have to pay for full coverage. When you buy a car, you can drive as many miles as you want. There is no mileage penalty. When your payments are over, you own the car. It is yours, not so when you lease a car. You can make any upgrades you want. When you lease a car, you can’t change anything. What you see if what you get. When you buy a car, any wear and tear on the car are yours. No one will charge you for these scratches, dents, and stains. 

Thinking of leasing a car? Sure the payments are lower, but when your lease is up, you don’t have a car. The car is not yours; it belongs to the dealership. You could lease a new car every 3 years. Drive a new car every 3 years.  Your car is under warranty for the entire length of your lease, so the dealership will cover anything that goes wrong with the car. You must pay for the maintenance of the car, the oil changes, brakes, and tires. So what do we do? Buy a car or lease one?

I wound up leasing a car as it was 200 dollars less a month to lease than to buy. I paid extra for scratch protection on the car. It is a sealant that goes on the outside and inside of the car. It could cover most scratches and stains. My plan is to drive a new car every 2 to 3 years. So far the car is amazing and since I had full coverage for my old car, my insurance didn’t go up all that much. Before buying or leasing a car, weigh the pros and cons of each and make the best-educated decision you can. 

You’re in My Seat

Photo by Karl Fredrickson on Unsplashchurch

I had an interesting experience at church last week and it reminded me of these two stories I have heard pastor’s use for their sermon.

In the first story, a man is visiting a church. This man sits in a pew and a lady came up to him and said, “I’m sorry but you are sitting in my pew.” This man got up and moved to another pew. Again, a man came up to him and said, “You’re sitting in my pew.” This happened several times before the man left the church. I have heard this story told by pastors with the message of welcoming new members.

There is another version of this story where the man sitting in everyone’s pew was a homeless man who smelled and wore torn clothes. At the end of this story, he came to the front of the church and said, “You asked me to move because I was sitting in your pew. I have sat in your pew and have died for your sins.” The man was Jesus. The Bible says giving to those in need is giving to Jesus. We should embrace people in need and welcome them.

When I went to church last weekend with my children, I had a similar experience. I drove into the parking lot and saw an open parking space. I drove in and parked, while a car came up next to mine and rolled down the window. A middle-aged woman was in the driver’s seat, so I assumed she needed directions or something.

So I asked, “Can I help you with anything?” What came next surprised both me and my children. She said, “It’s my parking spot. We only have six spots, so you need to move.”

I looked at her confused for a moment, then I realized that she was attending the church next to mine. So I replied, “Well it’s a good thing I am not coming here to visit your church because I will never come back.” I then drove off and parked my car elsewhere.

The woman pulled out of the spot she was in and moved her car closer to her church. My kids caught this and said, “So she just pulled in next to you to tell you to move your car. Jesus will not like that.” And my kids are correct. What if someone was planning on visiting this church or someone thinking about becoming a Christian? That person may never want to visit another church or becoming a Christian if Christians treat others this way. My daughter said, “I guess that’s why they only have 6 parking spots; no one wants to go to their church. I love our church. Everyone is nice and friendly.”

People expect Christians to be perfect, but we are far from perfect. Sometimes it takes compassion and common sense. This woman didn’t have either. She taught my children a lesson. She taught them to always welcome others because they know what it feels to not be welcome. It might be a small thing but for someone searching for a church of someone searching for God, it’s a big thing.

On My Own

Rely on others is a hard thing.

Relying on them binds them to us.

It reminds them you needed them.

It reminds them you can’t do it on your own.

That you needed help.

That you are a failure.

That you can’t do it on your own.

But I am not alone.

I am not a failure.

My path differs from yours.

My path is my own and,

My vow is now to go it alone.

Rely on myself and myself alone.

For never will I feel the pain,

Of your scorn,

Of your judgment

Of your righteous opinions.

I will show you, I can do it.

I will show you I am not a failure.

My path might be different,

but my path is my own.

When Will I Learn?

 

shhh

When will I learn, to keep my mouth shut?

When will I learn, that you don’t want my opinion?

When will I learn, that I really don’t have friends?

When will I learn, that it’s only a matter of time before you leave?

When will I learn, that you really don’t care about me?

 



When will I learn,  to not let my self-doubt rule my life?

Our Friendship is Over You Say?

Our friendship is over you say?

You claim foul,

But yet you pushed me away.

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