Nothing is Working

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We all see the posts of Facebook of parents who talk about their perfect kids… Meanwhile my house is a zoo. They are not bad kids. They just helped my neighbor find a lost cat, They helped people shovel out from the snow (not for money, just to help), but sometimes I wonder if what I say matters to them. Of course people only put the positive on social media, but for all those parents out there who wonder why nothing works, you are not alone.

 Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.
Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.

I pace back and forth outside in the cold.
Back and forth trying to calm myself. 
I know I shouldn’t have shouted, but nothing is working.
My throat hurts and I sit outside thinking of what I could have done better. 

Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.
Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.

Wondering what I said wrong and why they aren’t listening.
Nothing is working, maybe it's me.
Am I a bad mom?
Why don’t they care about each other, about their grades, about anything?
What is wrong with his generation?

Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.
Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.

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Please Everyone

woman leaning on table
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I do my best, and it’s never enough.
The words you say may be innocent, but they hurt.
There is not enough time in the day.
To please everyone, so I quit!

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Lord, give me the Strength

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Lord, give me the Strength
So much time in the day.
So much to do and yet so little time.
The hours tick away, and yet so much more to do.
The guilt I feel, when in don't spend enough time with them.
The guilt I feel, when I need to work.
The guilt I feel, when I am just too tired to move.

Lord, give me the strength to give them the mom they deserve. 
Work and life, but all I wanted was to be a mom.
Feeling lazy and wishing I had more time.
More time to spend with them, more to give them.
The life I didn't have and the life I want for them.

So much time in the day.
So much to do and yet so little time.
The hours tick away, and yet so much more to do.
The guilt I feel, when in don't spend enough time with them.
The guilt I feel, when I need to work.
The guilt I feel, when I am just too tired to move.

Lord, give me the strength to give them the mom they deserve. 

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The Only Job That Matters

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The only job that matters,
The hardest one of all.

Coaching, guiding, loving and caring for you.
Praying and hoping for your future.

How do I know if I am making the right choices
How do I know you are listening to my words, my advice.

Why do I feel like I am failing?
Why do I cry for your future?

The only job that matters,
The hardest one of all.

Coaching, guiding, loving and caring for you.
Praying and hoping for your future.

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The Morning

sea dawn landscape sky
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THE MORNING
The alarm resounds in my head, and I grumble and moan.
It pulls me from my slumber with a start.
My blankets wrapped around me keeping me warm as the cold morning air hits me.
 
I pull the covers over my head.
It can’t be morning already.
I want to hide from everyone and everything.
Just lay and look up at the ceiling and dream.
 
I want to hide from the world and pull the blankets closer.
The cold morning air wakes me, but I retreat under the covers.
Never leave the warmth and safety of the bed
Just lay and look up at the ceiling and dream.
 
I lay alone with all my thoughts,
The quiet in the morning
No one expecting anything from me
In this quiet time, oh the thoughts that come
 
Alas I must rise, each day the same
Running a race that never ends
 
Let me pull the covers back over my head.
The race never ends, just to take some days alone with my kids.
No work, no stress, just me and my kids.

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