It Hurts Like Hell

Photo by Claudia Soraya on Unsplash

It’s imperative to know how important you are.

Many people think they are important, they put themselves on pedestals.

You think you can count on certain people, but in the end, you can’t.

Sometimes the harsh reality hits you, and you realize how insignificant you are.

Or that you don’t matter to the people who matter to you.

The people you thought you can count on, the people that can count on you.

That foundation you built, comes falling down.

It’s important to know where you stand, but….

It hurts like hell… It hurts like hell.

Loser

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I am the one that everyone forgets.

They say they don’t, but they do.

They say we missed you

But they don’t talk to me.

As soon as I come in, everything stops.

Am I a killjoy?

Do they just say they miss me because that’s what they are supposed to say?

How do you know someone is genuine? 

Because I just feel completely useless and forgotten.

And if I didn’t talk to them for weeks on end, it won’t matter.

I’m an outsider watching them.

I’m a loser sitting by myself.

And I don’t know what to do.

Nothing is Working

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Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

I pace back and forth outside in the cold.

Back and forth trying to calm myself. 

I know I shouldn’t have shouted but nothing is working.

My throat hurts and I sit outside thinking of what I could have done better. 

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Wondering what I said wrong and why they aren’t listening.

Nothing is working, maybe it’s me.

Am I a bad mom?

Why don’t they care about each other, about their grades, about anything?

What is wrong with his generation?

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Biting and Gnawing

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Why can’t you be happy?

Why do you delight in others’ misery?

You can’t be happy for your friends?

You can’t stand when they are happy?

The pain of regret will come to bite you.

You will lose out and others will move on.

The cut will deepen as the time passes.

It will gnaw away at you until there is nothing left.

Your flesh will rot away as maggots eat you alive. 

It will fester and scab over, leaving you as horrid as you are now.

Opening again at each new sting.

The sting of pain and regret will eat at you,

gnawing away the new skin and devouring you whole.

The life of one with no happiness and the life of one who is not happy for others.

Is an empty, useless, decrepit life.