When your mind is cloudy,
When your head wants to rest,
And all you can do is worry,
About all the things that are a mess.
The work you need to do.
The places you need to go.
But your mind needs to rest.
Your head needs a pillow
And you need to stop.
Slow down, close your eyes.
Take a breath, it’s okay to stop.
Slow down, close your eyes.
Take a breath, it’s okay to stop.
Feeling guilty
When I rest my head.
When I need more sleep.
When I can’t go on, I need to rest.
Slow down, close your eyes.
Take a breath, it’s okay to stop.
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Forgive me
Maybe I am to blame,
Maybe it was me this time.
We think about forgiveness and giving it
But how to do forgive yourself?
How to do you heal and seek guidance
From the one you have wronged
How do you both come to terms and move on.
Move on to bigger and better.
Move on to things that matter.
And create once again
How do we do this?
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This Tuesday February 7th until Saturday February 11th!
This is a collection of poems, thoughts, short stories, and art. I hope you enjoy them.
Many of my poems might be dark and depressing, but writing is how I cope with things life throws at us. When I’m frustrated, hurt, and sad, I write. It helps me cope with my feelings though not every poem will fit this description, most of them will.
I write on a slew of subjects; motherhood, family, miscarriage, children, raising children and many more. Sometimes moms get into a competition of who’s the better mother or who has the best kids, whose job is hard, and that mindset helps no one. I promise to be as real as I can, hoping the things that have challenged me can help someone else.
Ramblings contains poems from the following books:
Ramblings of the Mind Ramblings of the Soul Ramblings of the Heart Ramblings of the Spirit
Your tears break me.
When I see you in pain,
I just want to take it away.
Wipe the tears from your eyes.
Hug all the pain away.
I don’t know how to do that.
And I don’t know what to do.
Your tears break me.
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They say the right things,
Music to your soul.
But it's like a dagger to your heart.
As the words are corrupted.
Like a slow seeping venom,
It creeps in and infects you.
When you think you are part of their life,
But you realize you are not.
Like a dagger to the heart,
Blood flows freely.
The deception is clear,
But the pain seeps into
Every fabric of your being.
Numbing you,
As your tears dry on your face.
You feel nothing as those words ring in your ears.
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I used to chase you
I used to beg you
But no more
I will no longer beg and fret.
I will no longer lay awake at night and worry.
I will no longer worry, for those days are over.
I used to chase people.
I used to beg them to stay.
But no more.
I stand firm and I know I am right.
I stand firm, and i know I am good enough
I stand firm and I am not alone.
Never have I been alone!
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It is a curse,
To never think your good enough
To question everything
To not accept the good things in life as real.
You wait for the bottom to fall out.
You wait for everyone to leave.
You anxiously see signs everywhere,
When nothing is wrong.
You question yourself with every task.
Did I write this right?
Did I say that right?
Did they understand me?
Never going with your gut
Never accepting you are talented
Never accepting yourself.
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I always say the wrong thing.
The words come out of my mouth,
And I watch them go.
Wave goodbye
And wait for the reaction.
The words spiral out of me,
I can’t catch them,
But just close my eyes and wait
For the reaction.
I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing
And then stress over it.
I back pedal but it doesn’t work
I wonder why I say anything at all.
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I have been writing for years. I started writing my first book in 2009 after I miscarriage my first child. It was published in 2008. It was horrible. So, I rewrote it and published it again under a new name in 2018. Then I started writing poetry and a paranormal book series. But I feel like none of what I write gets read. I learned a lot about writing and how to publish but it feels like nothing I do is right. Marketing is a struggle for me. I worked extensively with an artist for my book covers and editors to make my books perfect, but still, I can’t get them to see. At times it makes me want to stop but then inspiration hits and I want to write something new. Depression and anxiety definitely get in the way. When will I be able to say I made it? When should I stop and realize it is not worth it? When is enough, enough?
My dreams
Are they only Dreams?
Will they ever come to fruition?
Or are they only dreams?
How do you keep going?
How long do you fight?
Day after day and still no results.
My dreams?
Are they only dreams?
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Panic
Panic, heart racing
Blood rushing in my ears
Pulse echoing in my chest
Panic, heart racing
Hands shaking,
Flush face
Panic, heart racing
Sweat on my brows
Breathing ragged
Panic, heart racing
When will it end
I bit my lip to try and control it
Breath in deeply, trying to steady myself
When will it end?
When will I be normal?
Why can’t I think and react like normal people?
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