Biting and Gnawing

Photo by Daniel Jensen on Unsplash

Why can’t you be happy?

Why do you delight in others’ misery?

You can’t be happy for your friends?

You can’t stand when they are happy?

The pain of regret will come to bite you.

You will lose out and others will move on.

The cut will deepen as the time passes.

It will gnaw away at you until there is nothing left.

Your flesh will rot away as maggots eat you alive. 

It will fester and scab over, leaving you as horrid as you are now.

Opening again at each new sting.

The sting of pain and regret will eat at you,

gnawing away the new skin and devouring you whole.

The life of one with no happiness and the life of one who is not happy for others.

Is an empty, useless, decrepit life.

Worrying and Waiting

My fingers and feet move constantly as I sit waiting.
I pace back and forth and try not to think of what lies ahead of me. 

When will this be over?
This fear I have inside.
When will I know?
And stop the constant waiting that is eating away my soul. 

I can’t sit still. I have to keep moving. 
Keeping busy, to keep my mind filled.
The dishes, the laundry, vacuuming, anything I can.

My thoughts race to what will happen and I plan for the worst.
I play out scenarios and worry myself even more. 

I find myself constantly checking, every moment I have. 
Still nothing and my heart beats even faster than before. 
How can it take so long? 

I look for results.
I check over and over again.
I keep looking for answers,
My heart can’t handle the unknown.

I pace back and forth.
Fidget in my seat.
Tap my feet and twiddle my thumbs,
But nothing helps me to realize my stress.

The waiting and not knowing.
The waiting and unknown are eating away at me. 
Worrying brings nothing but despair. 

 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27.

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No Longer Run

I will no longer run after people.
I will no longer seek you out.
I will no longer worry and fret.
I will no longer care.

Life is too short to hold onto people,
Who doesn't want to be held onto.
Life is too short to work about,
Those who don’t worry about you.
Life's too short to seek out,
Those who won’t seek you out. 

I will no longer run after people.
I will no longer seek you out.
I will no longer worry and fret.
I will no longer care.

If I keep telling myself this,
Maybe I will listen.
Maybe I won’t feel bad,
When I am left in the dust.

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Scream and Yell

Photo by Louis Smith on Unsplash

Some might say I’m mean.

Some might say I’m loud.

People will say anything to hurt you.

They will make you question who you are,

And what you stand for.

They say you’re the mean one.

You might be loud and yell.

You might scream and curse,

But sometimes you need to.

You need to yell, scream, fight!

You need to be loud!

They may think you are being mean, but who cares!

When people are bullied, tormented, and wronged.

You have to stand up!

You have to give them a voice when they have none.

You have to yell, scream, and fight!

You have to stand up!

You have to give them a voice when they have none.

It Hurts Like Hell

Photo by Claudia Soraya on Unsplash

It’s imperative to know how important you are.

Many people think they are important, they put themselves on pedestals.

You think you can count on certain people, but in the end, you can’t.

Sometimes the harsh reality hits you, and you realize how insignificant you are.

Or that you don’t matter to the people who matter to you.

The people you thought you can count on, the people that can count on you.

That foundation you built, comes falling down.

It’s important to know where you stand, but….

It hurts like hell… It hurts like hell.

Loser

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I am the one that everyone forgets.

They say they don’t, but they do.

They say we missed you

But they don’t talk to me.

As soon as I come in, everything stops.

Am I a killjoy?

Do they just say they miss me because that’s what they are supposed to say?

How do you know someone is genuine? 

Because I just feel completely useless and forgotten.

And if I didn’t talk to them for weeks on end, it won’t matter.

I’m an outsider watching them.

I’m a loser sitting by myself.

And I don’t know what to do.

Nothing is Working

Photo by Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

I pace back and forth outside in the cold.

Back and forth trying to calm myself. 

I know I shouldn’t have shouted but nothing is working.

My throat hurts and I sit outside thinking of what I could have done better. 

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Wondering what I said wrong and why they aren’t listening.

Nothing is working, maybe it’s me.

Am I a bad mom?

Why don’t they care about each other, about their grades, about anything?

What is wrong with his generation?

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Nothing is working.

Nothing I say matters.

Thoughts of an Insecure Mind

I was never popular.

I always made mistakes and still do.

No one likes me or if they do, they fake it. 

I don’t know what I am doing wrong. 

It seems each day I make mistake after mistake

Maybe they are trying to push me out.

Maybe I am better off being alone.

Jealously

I wish you spent time with me.

I wish mine was just as good as theirs. 

Is there something wrong with me?

Is this what jealousy looks like?


Why is it hidden?

Hidden away so I would never know.

Should I forget, forget seeing it?

Or just accept that I’m not good enough. 

Please Everyone

woman leaning on table
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I do my best, and it’s never enough.

The words you say may be innocent but they hurt.

There is not enough time in the day.

To please everyone, so I quit!