I am a Star

Photo by Andy Holmes on Unsplash
I am a star.
You don’t always see me,
But know I am there.

I am a star.
Praying and watching over you.
I am a star.
Always here, no matter what. 

I am a star.
No matter what,
No matter when,
No matter what has happened in the past,
I am a star, and I am always here.

I am a star.
You don’t always see me,
But know I am there.
I am here always.

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Never Alone

Photo by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash
I used to chase you
I used to beg you
But no more

I will no longer beg and fret.
I will no longer lay awake at night and worry.
I will no longer worry, for those days are over.

I used to chase people.
I used to beg them to stay.
But no more.

I stand firm and I know I am right.
I stand firm, and i know I am good enough
I stand firm and I am not alone.
Never have I been alone!


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Intense

I might be abrasive
I might be passionate
I might love too much
I might say too much
I might ask too much
I might expect too much

Despite all of that you know I care.
Do not put me in a box
Tell me now to act
Tell me to be like you
I am not you.

So, 
I might be abrasive
I might be passionate
I might love too much
I might say too much
I might ask too much
I might expect too much


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It’s a Curse

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
It is a curse,
To never think your good enough
To question everything
To not accept the good things in life as real.  

You wait for the bottom to fall out.
You wait for everyone to leave.
You anxiously see signs everywhere,
When nothing is wrong.

You question yourself with every task.
Did I write this right?
Did I say that right?
Did they understand me?

Never going with your gut
Never accepting you are talented
Never accepting yourself. 

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Panic

Panic

Panic, heart racing
Blood rushing in my ears
Pulse echoing in my chest

Panic, heart racing
Hands shaking, 
Flush face

Panic, heart racing
Sweat on my brows
Breathing ragged

Panic, heart racing
When will it end

I bit my lip to try and control it
Breath in deeply, trying to steady myself

When will it end?
When will I be normal?
Why can’t I think and react like normal people?


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Tricks

Made on Canva by Nancy Ann

Having an anxiety filled day. Need to get it all out in a poem.

Tricks
Those old feelings creep up.
The dread and desire to hide.
My heart races, and my mind wonders.

To run and hide, away from the pain
It is just my mind, is it real or just in my mind?
These thoughts keep coming, creeping up on me.

Are they real? Is what I am thinking real?
Of my anxiety playing tricks on me?



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Sometimes

Photo by Zach Betten on Unsplash

For a long time, I tried to hold onto friends. I didn’t have many friends but the ones i had I wanted to hold on to. I thought it was a good thing. I always wanted someone to hold onto me, but as i have learned sometimes it’s best to let go. It is a difficult thing for me to let go. I still care, pray and think about these friends, but holding on sometimes leads them to pushing you further and further away. It is a lesson I am still learning and each time it happens, I have to remind myself of it again. This happens with family, as well as friends. Sometimes you must let go of your own sanity. Still, it is difficult for me to let go. I know that if any of these people came to me for help, I would help them. Would I let them back into my life, I really don’t know. It might not be a good idea for me to let them back in, but I don’t always do what is best for me. I forgive easily which is not a bad thing but forgiving and forgetting over and over again only leads to hurt later.

Sometimes
Sometimes you need to know.
When the time has passed.
Sometimes you need to know.
When the friendship is over.

Friends pass over time.
Friends come and go.
That does not mean they do not care
Cherish the times you had with them

Sometimes you need to let go.
Let go and set them free.

Sometimes you need to know.
When the time has passed.
Sometimes you need to know.
When the friendship is over.

Do not hold them back,
Do not make them feel bad
Sometimes it is better to just wish them well
And move on.

When they move on from you,
Do not fret, do not get angry
Wish them well and move on.
 


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They Say

Photo by Simran Sood on Unsplash
They say, work hard.
They say, good things come to those who wait.
They say, do good in school.
They say, work hard.

They don’t know what they are talking about.
They have money, and power.
They have connections and resources.

They tell us to work hard.
But we know that it won’t work
It is all a big lie. 


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https://www.facebook.com/groups/authornancyann

Check out Nancy’s latest book:
Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind and The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Maeve
This is a collection of poems, thoughts, short stories, and art. I hope you enjoy them.

Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09YYKHG6S

The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Maeve https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GNBLGVR
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Matthew https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08HKJ57FM
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Justin https://www.amazon.com/dp/B092JPL3HP
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Maurelle https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B8GW9SC8
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Annabelle (Coming Soon)
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Marius (Coming Soon)

The Creed of the Chronauts- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B8WKXJSD

I am Strong

lady in beach silhouette during daytime photography
Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com
I am strong.
I will prevail.
I am powerful.
My words can move mountains.
My words can tear people down.
I chose to lift them up.

I am strong.
I am loved.
I am beautiful.
My words can move mountains.
My words can tear people down.
I chose to lift them up.



Check out Nancy’s latest book:
Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind and The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Maeve
This is a collection of poems, thoughts, short stories, and art. I hope you enjoy them.

The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Maeve https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GNBLGVR
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Matthew https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08HKJ57FM
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Justin https://www.amazon.com/dp/B092JPL3HP
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Maurelle https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B8GW9SC8
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Annabelle (Coming Soon)
The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Marius (Coming Soon)

Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09YYKHG6S

The Creed of the Chronauts- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B8WKXJSD

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What Depression Feels Like

woman in bathtub in grayscale photog
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com
The water is so warm around me.
Fills me with such warmth and love.
Slowly I feel it move,
Down and down, it goes.
The cold hitting my body 
As the warmth recedes 
Soon I am laying in a cold bath,
Wondering where the warmth has gone.

A good friend once told me that this is how depression feels. I do not have depression. I have anxiety. But I thought it was an interesting metaphor for depression. I wanted to write it down to give some awareness. He said once the cold hits you, you feel like the warmth will never come back.

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