This is the new cover for the latest poetry book that I am working on now. I am hoping to have it done by this April so it can be out for National Poetry Month.
New Poetry Book
This is a collection of poems, thoughts, short stories, and art. I hope you enjoy them. Many of my poems might be dark and depressing, but writing is how I cope with things life throws at us. When I’m frustrated, hurt, and sad, I write. It helps me cope with my feelings though not every poem will fit this description most of them will. I write on a slew of subjects; motherhood, family, miscarriage, children, raising children and many more. Sometimes moms get into a competition of who’s the better mother or who has the best kids, whose job is hard, and that mindset helps no one. So, I promise to be as real as I can, hoping the things that have challenged me can help someone else.
Deserve to be Happy
Photo by lucas clarysse on Unsplash
Deserve to be Happy Tears flow for freely It's uncontrollable I can’t stop the pain in my heart. The world will never be Sunny and cheerful again If you are not part of it. Darkness and gloom cover my existence. As I gasp for air as I try to be calm. But nothing calms me as I sit in the dark. Why have I done the things I have done? Why am I such a horrible person to hurt you so? I don’t deserve to be happy. I don’t deserve love. But you, you deserve all of this and more.
There were 5 survivors, John, Abigail, Michael, Beth, and Lily. Flight 532 took off with 200 passengers and no issues. The flight crew went through their routine as they always do. Nothing could have prepared them for what was to follow.
Without warning, the plane lost altitude and crashed somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. The scene was horrific as passengers struggled to unfasten their seatbelts and free themselves from the sinking ship. Those who freed themselves had to swim away from the wreckage as it sank, pulling them under the water. The seawater filled their lungs; the pressure builds as plasma from their blood got sucked into their lungs preventing them from breathing. They drowned not only from the seawater but from their own blood that has now filled their lungs.
Bodies washed up on the shore, still moving and struggling, but only 5 stood and walked to the stand.
Those five did their best to help the dead, and the injured to no avail. The smell of blood and death in the water attracted the local sea life. Sharks and others came to feed on the victims. Soon the water turned red as the sharks fed on the remains.
Lily did her best to help. The blood and gore didn’t bother her as much as it affected the others. “Oh, the blood. The sweet smell,” she thought as she wrapped the bodies for burial and placed them in their swallow graves.
The others thought Lily was in shock or suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, but she wasn’t. Death excited her.
They found shelter for the first night, but that first night was when the winds came. A strong wind rushed through the beach and swayed the trees, calling to Lily. She moaned in her sleep as she heard the wind. “Lily…. Lily… come to me, Lily.” The voice grew louder, but Lily kept sleeping. The voice grew so loud that she put her hands over her ears to block out the sound, but still, the voice came.
As much as she tried to sleep that night, the night the winds came, she kept having nightmares. The same nightmare kept repeating all night.
In her dream, Beth was sleeping when a figure appeared before her. The figure, a shadow of a man, appeared to smile as it stood over Beth. Beth woke with a start and screamed as the figure sliced her throat. He continued to cut into her as the spray of her blood spewed from her body. When the figure left, Lily crept over to her body as the man left. She ran her fingers through her hair and moved her fingers in her blood as if it were natural to do so.
“Sleep well,” Lily said with a smile.
Lily woke painting feeling this sickening feeling come over her. Then in an instant, screams filled the air as the others woke, “Beth, Beth!” The others screamed as they searched for her. Only a pile of blood lay where Beth once slept.
Blood covered Lily’s hands. She looked at them and then ran to the water to wash them. “How could this be? It was just a dream, I told myself. Why were my hands covered in blood? Where did Beth go?” When Lily finished, she returned to the group and helped them look for Beth, but they never found her.
After a while, they had given up hope on finding Beth. Lily sat on the beach staring at the waves, trying to push away this feeling of guilt. I smiled and laughed as she died. “What’s wrong with me?”
The next night the demon killed John. Lily laughed and danced around the tree as his feet dangling in the air. Every night the demon killed another person, and the excitement in Lily grew with each kill. The dreams excited her. The demon strangled Abigail. That one didn’t excite Lily as much as the other ones had. She found she enjoyed watching the blood pour from his victims far better. He even let me cut off Michael’s head. Oh, how exciting it was to slice through his neck as the blood splatter upon her face. “Why am I acting this way? Something or someone unlocked this my want for blood and death.”
On the fifth day, the beach was silent when Lily woke. She was alone. The only sounds she heard were the lapping of the waves, the beat of her heart echoing in her ears, and the voice. Still, the voice called to her once again.
“Who are you?” Lily called out. “Why are you giving me these dreams?”
The winds stopped as the voice fell silent. Lily was the only one left. Was this demon coming for her now? What did it want with her?
Lily walked into the woods hoping to find what was hunting her and kill it before it could kill her. She found a stick and took out her red pocketknife. She sat on a nearby stump and sharped it, thinking she needed something to defend herself if she ran into this figure, this demon.
She walked for hours as the sun rays burnt her back; Lily knew it was late afternoon. She kept walking, thinking to turn around soon to be back at the beach by night, but then she came to what an abandoned cabin. It was a wooden cabin, and the stretch of rotting flesh filled the surrounding air. It turned Lily’s stomach as she turned away to vomit. The smell before had excited her, but this was far too poignant. She was not expecting the smell to be that poignant. As a few long moments, she regained her passion, her excitement, and explored the cabin.
She grabbed the doorknob but pulled away as blood was covering it. The blood shocked her, but it did not phase her. She entered the cabin and let out a gasp as I saw the bodies of my fallen peers hanging in various positions. Abigail sat in the center of the room in a rusted steel chair with straps confining her to the chair. He displayed weapons of torture through the workshop. Two clamps held Michael’s head as his body lay on the floor. Beth lay on a table with straps across her body and poor John. He dismembered John’s body and placed each body part in a glass jar. My hands shook as I examined the jars. This is insane. Get out! Get out now!
Winds came rushing in behind me as the door opened. I turned to see a figure standing there watching me. “Welcome home, Lily. Are you here to join me or just watch as you do in your dreams?” He asked.
The shadow moved toward me. “That’s a good girl. I can tell how excited you are. We’ve been waiting for you.”
I smirked for I knew he will not kill me and will help him. I’m home.
“Now go home and dream more victims up for me,” he commanded.
The next morning, I woke back in my bed at home. “Was this a dream?” I wondered.
I walked into my living room and turned on the news.
The reporter spoke, “Yes that is correct 199 passengers on flight 532 confirmed dead.
I gasped as I felt a cool breeze rush through my apartment. “Lily….” The voice was back. I turned around as the shadow figure was in my doorway.
The Adventures of Zelda and Foxy
The Kindle and print versions are live!!!!!!
This is a children’s book, written and illustrated by me. I hope you enjoy it!
My name is Zelda, and this is Foxy Roxy. He is my pet fox. I didn’t always have Foxy. Let me tell you how Foxy Roxy came into my life.
I started drawing for a children’s book for my daughter Zelda. Someone suggested I put them on Deviant art. Please follow me if you have Deviant art and check out the illustrations! The book is already written, but the illustrations are taking longer. Though I never really drew this way before.
The Adventures of Zelda and Foxy Roxy!!!
October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Awareness day. 1 in every 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage.
During this month, I will give my book. Birth After Miscarriage: A Spiritual Journey away for free. You can download the E-book from Amazon.
FREE FROM OCTOBER 13-17
I always wanted to be a mom. After my miscarriage, I thought it would never happen. God had a wonderful plan for my life. I just have to wait and put my faith in Him. Many women suffer the tremendous loss of a miscarriage. They often believe they are alone, but they are never alone. Rest assured that it is not anyone’s fault! It is simply a sad component of life. In every four pregnancies, one ends in a miscarriage. I am sharing my story to help other women who have experienced the same pain I have.