Faith/Trust

Photo by Jen Palmer on Unsplash

 

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

Is this my job to pick up the pieces when you fall.

You put your faith in others but then want me to have faith in you?

You didn’t think of me and impulsively act.

You push me aside and only think of yourself. 

You never think of me. You never think!

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

How can I have faith in someone like you? 

Will I be alone my entire life and think of yourself?

You never think of me!

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

How can I have faith in someone like you?

Will I be alone my entire life?

Do I forgive and move one?

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

Will you come running back to me?

Asking for another chance? Asking for love and faith

For you just to leave again.

Why should I care what you do and how you do it?

Why does this still matter to me? Why do you matter?

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

My heart can only take so much.

Hurt so many times,

How do I heal from it?

 

Everyone leaves.

They find someone better and then they leave. 

Why do I worry so much?

Why do I care what you do?

Do you think I will be there to help you when it all falls apart?

 

Will everyone leave?

Do I even bother starting again?

Don’t get to be happy?

 

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Be Still

landscape photography yellow and green leafed trees

 Photo by mili_ radic97 on Unsplash

 

My head won’t be quiet.

Spinning and running it never stops.

Songs playing at the same time.

Thoughts of the day and days before.

Memories keeping me awake.

Plaquing my existence.

 

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and sleep.

 

Sitting up in bed while everyone sleeps.

Wondering when it will be my turn.

When will the voices cease and I can rest?

Replaying events of the past.

Wishing they were different, Wishing I could change. 

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and sleep.

 

Be still and hear God.

Block all else out and only hear Him.

 

Pacing back and forth,

And rocking.

The noises never stop.

Pieces of songs, bits of advice.

Filling my mind keeping me awake.

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and sleep.

 

Be still, my soul.

Be still and rest.

 

Block all the noise out.

And only hear God’s voice.

 

Be still and only hear him.

Block all else out and only hear him.

He is calling to you!

Worthy

grace

Photo by Olivia Snow on Unsplash

 

Worthy

How do I tell you,  you are worthy?
You are fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are worthy,
You are worthy.
How do I tell you, you are worthy?

You are fearfully and wonderfully made;

You are worthy! God knows you are worthy.

 

You can’t do anything to take away

From the love, God has for you.

You are worthy; He knows you’re worthy.

God says you are worthy, you are worthy.

Worthy!

 

The Lord of Light created you and you are worthy,

Worthy, Worthy!

Let the light of your face shine on the world.

Because you are worthy. Worthy!

 

Show them the grace and the love he has for you,

And they will see you are worthy.

They will see that they are worthy.

 

Show them the love God has for them.

Show them the grace and the love he has for you,

They will see they are worthy,

You are worthy.

To Buy or Lease?

car

Need a new car? What do you do?  I faced the dilemma of needing a new car earlier this month. My old car served us well for many years but now we needed to fix it or get a new one. My old care was stalling when we stopped, so I brought it to our mechanic and we found the car had an oil leak, a transmission problem, and various other problems. We had to decide if it was worth it to pour more money into this car or use the money to put down on a car. We had a few things to consider. Do we look at used car lots, buy a car or lease one? 

I didn’t want to buy a used car. In the past, I had bad experiences with used cars, so I didn’t want to buy a used one.  When you buy a used car, most times you are just trading your car’s problems for someone else’s. The car needed to be reliable and safe. I knew I didn’t want a used car. 

My next question was whether to lease or buy. To answer this question, I had to weigh the pros and cons of each and decide what I can afford. First, when you buy a new car, your payments will be higher than that of a lease.  My insurance will be high both whether I lease or buy so I didn’t need to worry about that right now. Either way, I will have to pay for full coverage. When you buy a car, you can drive as many miles as you want. There is no mileage penalty. When your payments are over, you own the car. It is yours, not so when you lease a car. You can make any upgrades you want. When you lease a car, you can’t change anything. What you see if what you get. When you buy a car, any wear and tear on the car are yours. No one will charge you for these scratches, dents, and stains. 

Thinking of leasing a car? Sure the payments are lower, but when your lease is up, you don’t have a car. The car is not yours; it belongs to the dealership. You could lease a new car every 3 years. Drive a new car every 3 years.  Your car is under warranty for the entire length of your lease, so the dealership will cover anything that goes wrong with the car. You must pay for the maintenance of the car, the oil changes, brakes, and tires. So what do we do? Buy a car or lease one?

I wound up leasing a car as it was 200 dollars less a month to lease than to buy. I paid extra for scratch protection on the car. It is a sealant that goes on the outside and inside of the car. It could cover most scratches and stains. My plan is to drive a new car every 2 to 3 years. So far the car is amazing and since I had full coverage for my old car, my insurance didn’t go up all that much. Before buying or leasing a car, weigh the pros and cons of each and make the best-educated decision you can. 

On My Own

Rely on others is a hard thing.

Relying on them binds them to us.

It reminds them you needed them.

It reminds them you can’t do it on your own.

That you needed help.

That you are a failure.

That you can’t do it on your own.

But I am not alone.

I am not a failure.

My path differs from yours.

My path is my own and,

My vow is now to go it alone.

Rely on myself and myself alone.

For never will I feel the pain,

Of your scorn,

Of your judgment

Of your righteous opinions.

I will show you, I can do it.

I will show you I am not a failure.

My path might be different,

but my path is my own.

When Will I Learn?

 

shhh

When will I learn, to keep my mouth shut?

When will I learn, that you don’t want my opinion?

When will I learn, that I really don’t have friends?

When will I learn, that it’s only a matter of time before you leave?

When will I learn, that you really don’t care about me?

 



When will I learn,  to not let my self-doubt rule my life?

Our Friendship is Over You Say?

Our friendship is over you say?

You claim foul,

But yet you pushed me away.

Continue reading

Write with us or Follow Us!

Write with us or follow us!

I don’t know if anyone here is on Medium. At first, I went on to build a following but the site seemed too preoccupied with how much money you make and whether the curators liked your story. Most of the groups I have been in about Medium have only been concerned with money.

I try to get my work on as many sites as I an to build a following. If you are interested in building a following and finding a new place to showcase your work please join me. I created a publication on Medium for all writers.

Purple Pen

 

The Purple Pen (4)

You Still Love Me!

I can tell you everything,

All that’s on my heart.

You can see me cry, and hear me laugh.

You see my flaws and my faults

 

And somehow still

You love me. 

 

I can tell you everything,

All that’s on my heart

You see me mad, and you hear me scream.

You see my errors and you see my pain.

And somehow still

You love me.

 

I can be myself

As odd as I am

As kooky and bizarre as I am.

And you love it all the same. 

 

That’s what love is supposed to look like. 

Free Poetry Book

 

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Ramblings of the Mind, is a collection of art, poems, and thoughts. Many of my poems might be dark and depressing, but writing is how I cope with things life throws at us. When I’m frustrated, hurt, and sad, I write. It helps me cope with my feeling though not every poem will fit this description most of them.