Meaningless

Photo by Bryan Garces on Unsplash
The time I put in was meaningless.
Talking to them, listening to them, letting them cry to me.
Listening to them cry, complain as any friend would do.

Do you change who you are?
Not be a good friend to others?
No, of course not. 

Those who chose to replace a friend like me,
Lose in the end.
Those who chose to replace a friend like me,
Lose the person who will do anything for them.
Lose the one who would stand up for you.
Lose the person who checks on you.
Lost the person who cares about you.

Their loss and another person’s gain. 

 

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Sometimes

persons raising hands
Photo by Luis Dalvan on Pexels.com
Sometimes
Sometimes I need to step away.
Retreat in the darkness and hide.
Sometimes I need the quiet.
A place where no light can hit me.
Sometimes, I just need to step away.
 
But other times, I love the light. 
I want to be loud and bright
To go to a place that is loud and full of life. 
To laugh, dance and sing.

 
But sometimes the quiet is all I need. 

Check out Nancy’s latest book:

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Nothing is Working

Check out her new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09YYKHG6S

Photo by Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash


We all see the posts of Facebook of parents who talk about their perfect kids… Meanwhile my house is a zoo. They are not bad kids. They just helped my neighbor find a lost cat, They helped people shovel out from the snow (not for money, just to help), but sometimes I wonder if what I say matters to them. Of course people only put the positive on social media, but for all those parents out there who wonder why nothing works, you are not alone.

 Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.
Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.

I pace back and forth outside in the cold.
Back and forth trying to calm myself. 
I know I shouldn’t have shouted, but nothing is working.
My throat hurts and I sit outside thinking of what I could have done better. 

Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.
Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.

Wondering what I said wrong and why they aren’t listening.
Nothing is working, maybe it's me.
Am I a bad mom?
Why don’t they care about each other, about their grades, about anything?
What is wrong with his generation?

Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.
Nothing is working.
Nothing I say matters.

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New Book Annoucement

What an exciting month for Nancy Ann. She has a new book of prose, poetry and short stories just published called Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind. Nancy Ann’s Publisher here, Pandora’s Order Publications LLC. We are so happy to have Nancy Ann on board as one of our newest writers. This is the first book she is publishing with us and we could not be more ecstatic.

Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind explores everything from birth to loss, love to friendship, stories and so much more. It is a book that will give you hours of enjoyment and is here just in time for the end of National Poetry Month. Pick up your copy today at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09YM6SYFH  You won’t be sorry.

The emotions poured into this book will jump off the pages right into your heart. Pick up your copy today. You won’t regret it.

Aingealicia McKitrick

Pandora’s Order LLC

pandorasorder.com

Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind

This is a collection of poems, thoughts, short stories, and art. I hope you enjoy them.

Many of my poems might be dark and depressing, but writing is how I cope with things life throws at us. When I’m frustrated, hurt, and sad, I write. It helps me cope with my feelings though not every poem will fit this description most of them will.

I write on a slew of subjects; motherhood, family, miscarriage, children, raising children and many more. Sometimes moms get into a competition of who’s the better mother or who has the best kids, whose job is hard, and that mindset helps no one. I promise to be as real as I can, hoping the things that have challenged me can help someone else.

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To Hide Away

 I want to hide away,
Away from all of you.
You may think my pain is about you.
You may think I am thinking about you.
No one thinks about you.
No one cares where you are.
You think they should; you demand they do,
And that is why they don't care where you are.

I want to hide away,
Away from all of you.
All to the pain,
The heartless words, only said to hurt.
No feeling inside.

I want to hide away,
Away from you.
All the pain you cause, when I have more.
My pain is not about you, though you think everything is.
Everything isn’t about you, though you want it all to be about you.
You want to hurt and tear people down.
This is why I hide away.

I want to hide away.
Away from you.
Away from all your pain.
The heart words, you only say to hurt.
No feelings inside.

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One Night

Photo by Aliyah Jamous on Unsplash
One night, two people.
Calling me names, blasting me to others.

Some say it doesn’t matter.
I should forget it and move on.
It’s their loss and blah blah blah...

Bullshit!

Why does it hurt so badly if all these other people say it shouldn’t.
Why am I the target? Am I weak?
Why is it so hard to walk away? Why do I want to keep talking?

And why do I get so angry? Why am I so hurt?

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Please Everyone

woman leaning on table
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
I do my best, and it’s never enough.
The words you say may be innocent, but they hurt.
There is not enough time in the day.
To please everyone, so I quit!

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Anxiety Attack

white and brown wooden tiles
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com
My entire body shakes. 
My breathing becomes rapid. 
I feel like I can’t catch my breath. 
I hear my heart pounding in my chest. 
I look for a way out, but I’m trapped.  

My hands shake. 
I feel the shaking all over my body. 
I try to calm myself. 
And breathe. 
Just to breathe. 

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