Open Door

Open Door
The door’s always open.
Some will enter,
Others will leave,
But it’s always open.

It’s your choice, 
to enter or not,
But I’m always here. 

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Your Tears

lonely woman crying with closed eyes
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on
Your tears break me.
When I see you in pain,
I just want to take it away.
Wipe the tears from your eyes.
Hug all the pain away.

I don’t know how to do that.
And I don’t know what to do.

 Your tears break me.

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Did You Hear My Words?

You didn’t say anything.
Did you hear my words?
Do you know?

Did you know that I prayed for you every day?
Did you know you were never far from my thoughts?
My heart ached for I knew you were in pain.

You stopped talking to me.
But I didn’t know.
If you could talk or
Was it just me?

Did I do something wrong?
Did you hear my words, or
Was I a bother to you?

You didn’t say anything.
But I kept praying
And now I am left with wonder.

And now you are gone.
And I will never know.
If you heard my words. 

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Jealousy, it’s a Raging Fire.

Photo by Maxim Tajer on Unsplash

It boils up in me.
Ready to explode
My heart races and 
These thoughts come to me
Making me questions it all.

Jealousy, it's a raging fire.
Jealousy, tearing my heart out.
Jealousy, and I can’t see
Jealousy, Jealousy

I’m ready to explode,
Ready to infinite
The fire building in me.

I can’t think of anything 
It doesn't make sense
This feeling inside of me
Making me question,
Making me fear

Jealousy, it's a raging fire.
Jealousy, tearing my heart out.
Jealousy, and I can’t see
Jealousy, Jealousy

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Frustrated Indie Writer

Frustrated Indie Writer

I am what you call an indie writer which means I publish my own books. I tried to work with a publisher, but it did not go well. I learned a lot from working with them, and from writing over the years. 

Now I am writing the last book in my series the Shadow Realm Chronicles and still I do not know how to market the book. It worries me sometimes that I have put all this energy into this project and because of that no one will read it. I recently got a review that was not the best and it made me think. Do I really know how to write? Are my books just crap? I know all writers have people who don’t like their books, and everyone has their own taste, but man that killed me. 

I found that when I write, I am less stressed. So that act of writing keeps me grounded and focused. When I am not writing, for any reason, I am more stressed and irritable. 

I also like being creative. My books series, I think is fun. It is the story about a family that is cursed and through generations they try and overcome this darkness. 

Book 1 The Shadow Realm Chronicles Maeve

Welcome to the Shadow Realm!

Many years ago, darkness tore apart the worlds. They called it the Great War, for it was massive and involved all the realms of all the worlds, save one. Enemies on either side grew their armies for battle with heavy casualties. New allies formed out of this bloodshed while old ones crumbled. The Great War might be over, but another one looms in the distance, and it all begins with a lonely mother named Maeve.

Maeve once was a loving mother and wife, but darkness transforms her into a creature of the night. The Vampire Lord Marius attacked her and turned into a vampire. Her husband, Hunter, fled with her infant son, fearing the monster she would become. Now she is a pawn being used by Marius and The Shadow King who wants to make her his dark Queen. How can she get back to her son and the family she left behind? Will she succumb to the darkness or fight for her son? Will she ever be able to forgive Hunter for leaving her to the mercy of Marius and the Shadow King?

Travel to the Shadow Realm, hear spellbinding tales, meet magical creatures, and join Maeve in the quest to save her soul.

Book 2 The Shadow Realm Chronicles Matthew

Return to the Shadow Realm!

Matthew, Maeve’s grandson, is the prisoner of the Shadow King. Killed by the King of the Faye, Matthew must fight to get back to his family and reunite all those he had lost. Can he, do it? Or will he allow darkness to enter his soul? Will Maeve intervene and save him? Will his wife ever forgive him for the dark things he must do, and will his son ever accept him? How far would you go to save your family?

Can Matthew overcome the darkness and return to his family or succumb to the darkness and become The New Shadow King? Travel to the Shadow Realm, hear spellbinding tales, meet magical creatures, and join Matthew as he fights for his family.

Book 3 The Shadow Realm Chronicles Justin

Journey with Justin as he learns about the magical world.

Take a journey in time, back before Maeve and Matthew returned, back to the time when Justin first met Lily and Nancy, back to when Justin did not know he was a magical being. Take a journey with Justin and his friends as they learn who they are, how they are connected, and what powers they have. Can they sense the darkness? How can a group of kids help prevent this impending doom and darkness?

Travel to the Shadow Realm, meet vampires, witches, and werewolves. Learn about the merpeople and the Faye. Help Justin and his friends learn who they are in this magical world filled with danger, darkness, and love.

Book 4 The Shadow Realm Chronicles Maurelle

Will Maurelle ever be able to forgive Matthew and herself? The search for Maurelle’s kids starts now!

For a young fairy named Maurelle life was wonderful. She was a princess, and she loved her family. But Maurelle did not understand the ways of the world and the darkness that dwelt in her father and others. But as she grew, that darkness became a reality not only for herself but her husband Matthew.

Will she find the courage to rebuild her family, to forgive her husband, and will she ever be able to forgive herself? If she can’t forgive herself, how will she ever be able to face her father and find her children?

Book 5 The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Annabelle (Coming soon)

Book 6 The Shadow Realm Chronicles: Carillon (Coming Soon)

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The Things They Say

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They say the right things,
Music to your soul.
But it's like a dagger to your heart.
As the words are corrupted. 

Like a slow seeping venom,
It creeps in and infects you.

When you think you are part of their life,
But you realize you are not. 

Like a dagger to the heart, 
Blood flows freely.
The deception is clear,
But the pain seeps into
Every fabric of your being. 

Numbing you,
As your tears dry on your face.

You feel nothing as those words ring in your ears.

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Thrice by Andrew D. Meredith

Thrice by Andrew D. Meredith

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I heard about this book in a writing group I am in. The author was in it at one point, and he shared his book. I decided to read one indie book a month this year as I myself am an indie writer. I did not expect much from this book, but it was amazing. The way the other describes things and how the story captivated me, were intriguing. It kept me wanting to figure out who Leaf was and how and why he waws in Jovan’s care.

I highly recommend this book. I listened to it on audible and I was impressed. The author read the book and at first when I saw that I did not expect much, but the book sounded like it was done at a professional studio. I need to figure out how to do that.

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When You Hold On

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Photo by Min An on
A long time ago someone told me that people give up on them easily.
And I reassured them that I do not give up on people.

People tend to give up on me,
But I would be someone’s friend until the end.
Until they are the ones pushing me out and moving on without me.

When you hold onto friends, 
Sometimes holding on is a good thing. 
Sometimes it makes your bond stronger.
Sometimes they grow tired of you
Sometimes they hate you for it
Sometimes, however, they love that you have not forgotten them.

So, what is the answer?
Do you hold on or let go?

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Forgive Me

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Forgive me
Maybe I am to blame,
Maybe it was me this time. 

We think about forgiveness and giving it
But how to do forgive yourself?
How to do you heal and seek guidance
From the one you have wronged
How do you both come to terms and move on

Move on to bigger and better.
Move on to things that matter.
And create once again
How do we do this?

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I do not Understand Hate.

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I do not Understand Hate.
I lost control and I don't know what to do.
Sometimes I feel like my mind is stuck in the past.
I can’t stop thinking about things that happened,
And I know I need to move on but it’s hard. 

Don’t hold grudges.
I know I go out of my way to show people that I 
Don’t hold grudges. 

What do you do when someone
 has hardened their heart to you?
Not much you can do
I still won't hold a grudge
Just pray for them

If they came to me for help,
I would help
But there is a point when you can forgive,
 but not let people go back in the way you did in the past. 

Is it selfish to think someone will come back to you
Realizing that they miss you or need you?
Why was i so easy to write off?
The hatred I do not understand.