Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind (NEW BOOK)

Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind
This is a collection of poems, thoughts, short stories, and art. I hope you enjoy them.

Many of my poems might be dark and depressing, but writing is how I cope with things life throws at us. When I’m frustrated, hurt, and sad, I write. It helps me cope with my feelings though not every poem will fit this description most of them will.

I write on a slew of subjects; motherhood, family, miscarriage, children, raising children and many more. Sometimes moms get into a competition of who’s the better mother or who has the best kids, whose job is hard, and that mindset helps no one. I promise to be as real as I can, hoping the things that have challenged me can help someone else.

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Always Alone

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
As much as I give, I lose.
As much as I care, they don’t.

How do you know how important you are?
Do I think more of you than you think of me?
I am hopeless and alone, always and forever

As much as I help, it’s never enough.
As much as I love, I hurt.

I am not important and never have been.
To those I care about, they care little for me.
I am hopeless and alone, always and forever.

I am the one who gets tossed aside, forgotten each time.
A new thing comes along.

Check out her new book:

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Rambling of a Chaotic Mind (video I made with my kids)

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I made a video with my kids. They took pictures holding my book and had the honor of opening the package and holding the book before me.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09YYKHG6S

Now available in paperback and Kindle! This is a collection of poems, thoughts, short stories, and art. I hope you enjoy them. Many of my poems might be dark and depressing, but writing is how I cope with things life throws at us. When I’m frustrated, hurt, and sad, I write. It helps me cope with my feelings though not every poem will fit this description most of them will. I write on a slew of subjects; motherhood, family, miscarriage, children, raising children and many more. Sometimes moms get into a competition of who’s the better mother or who has the best kids, whose job is hard, and that mindset helps no one. I promise to be as real as I can, hoping the things that have challenged me can help someone else.



Support (A Poem About Supporting Others)

 Support I give and rarely receive.
How is it the ones closest to you,
Are the ones who don’t support you?
Strangers give you praise and those you love
Wonder why they should.
Why can’t we praise people and support those we love?
Are we only there to support, when times are rough?
Why are those in your corner, not truly there for you?
When they have so much to give when your cards are down, 
But nothing when you achieve your goals. 

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I Was Wrong

Photo by Keenan Constance on Unsplash

I Was Wrong

 I thought they were my friends.
I thought I was important.
I thought they would support me, 
But alas, I was wrong.
I cherished the memories,
I cherished our talks,
I cherished our friendship,
But alas, I was wrong to cherish these things.
In the end, it never mattered.
In the end, it is all gone.
In the end, I am alone.

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To Keep a Promise


To Keep a Promise

 A promise is something sweet,
A caring gesture of friendship and love.
 
Sincere thoughts and a heartfelt vow,
A pledge of honor and faith.

When promises brake and friendships shattered,
You blackened your heart with lies.
 
How far do you go to recapture that trust?
What will you do to regain that love?
The vow and the faith you once had,
Why do you keep your promise when others do not?


Should you mend something that’s broken?
How do you fix the friendship all in ruins?
A trust that is a dilapidated mess?
How far will you go to keep a promise of a friendship long gone?

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Am I your friend?

friend

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Am I Your Friend? 
Am I your friend?
Do you really care about me the way I care about you?
We use the term best friends, but is that just me?
But is that truly what I am to you?
 
Do I think more of you than you think of me?
When my usefulness is gone, will you also leave?
Why do these questions haunt me so?
 
I worry about the future, like an endless sea of doubt. 
Doubting myself and others, will I ever be happy.

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Throw My Feelings in the Trash

trashPhoto by Antoine GIRET on Unsplash

Throw My Feeling in the Trash!

Do my feelings not matter to you?
Do you think you can do what you want?
Screw me, because I don’t matter!
Throw my feelings in the trash and stomp all over them!
 
Did you even think to talk to me?
Did you think I wouldn’t care?
Did you even think of me?
 
I know you didn’t think of me!
I know no one does!
 
It’s better to not expect anything from anyone!
They always disappoint!
I expect too much from people and I am the one who gets hurt.
 
Did you even think to talk to me?
Did you think I wouldn’t care?
Did you even think of me?
 
Throw my feelings in the trash and stomp all over them!

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I am Nothing

Photo by Aliyah Jamous on Unsplash

I am Nothing

I am nothing.
That's how you see me.
My words mean nothing.
My heart means nothing.

You do what you want,
With little care for me.
Until you need something and
Then I am nothing once more.

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Am I Your Friend

friend

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

 Am I your friend?
Do you really care about me the way I care about you?
We use the term best friends, but is that just me?
But is that truly what I am to you?
 
Do I think more of you than you think of me?
When my usefulness is gone, will you also leave?
Why do these questions haunt me so?
 
I worry about the future, like an endless sea of doubt. 
Doubting myself and others, will I ever be happy.

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