A Ton of Bricks

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I am learning a lesson which I never wanted to learn 
It hit me like a sack of bricks. 
Breaking my heart as it pounds. 
 
When people wrong others, 
They will wrong you too, 
know they won't change. 
 
I always wanted to believe people can change for the good. 
I wanted to believe there was good in all people. 
I wanted to believe the apology. 
I wanted to believe the vows of friendship. 
 
All lies. 
 
I had something they wanted, 
so for that time, I was their friend, 
or what they think a friend is 
 
When I have nothing to offer but friendship, 
they were gone. 
And I am left broken hearted 
and cursing myself for trusting them. 
 
Feeling myself crumble under the bricks 
Tears are all dried up now 
It hit me like a ton of bricks 
I never saw it coming.

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I am Fine

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I was fine when you hurt me. 
I was fine when you left 
I was fine when you said I was the best. 
 
I was fine when you came back 
And I say I am fine when you 
Left again. 
 
For I always knew the time would come. 
So I lie, and I say I am Fine. 
I am fine.  I am fine.

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Ask Why?

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The storm rages on 
Though my heart it bleeds 
A burst of passion in my soul 
As the winds rage on 
 
A squall's wrath makes the windows shake 
The night sky electrifies 
By the blast of the light 
 
And I sit inside 
Wondering why 
I hear the rain 
As it taps, the wind as it howls and still 
I ask why 
 
The illumination of the sky 
And I ask myself why 
 
The rains pour down, the thunder explodes 
And I ask why 
 
 
I ask why 

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Shattered

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Shattered 
It pushes me down. 
I can't breathe. 
How can this happen? 
I gasp for air as I am torn to pieces. 
Torn apart. 
My hopes and dreams went in an instant. 
The pictures of my future shattered. 
How do you go on from here? 
How do you glue a shattered person back together? 
Pick me up as I am in pieces on the floor. 
A hollow existence of my former self. 
Moving through the motions of daily life as I go. 
My shattered heart ached to be mended. 
How could you trust again in this shattered life? 

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Hold On

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Hold on tight, no matter how lousy you feel 
Cry if you want, but don't give up. 
It burns and your miserable but you keep fighting 
 
Hold on tight, but no one cares 
Scream out loud, but no one cheers 
It scorches your soul but you keep fighting 
 
Rotten and moldy, frail and rancid, 
But why do you still hold on? 
Why do you hold on to rotten dreams, 
Broken promises, and lies of devotion 
 
Let go of those rats, the tricksters, and deceivers 
Take charge of your life, move on and be happy 
Turn away from those who wish you harm, 
They seek to damage and berate you. 
 
Take charge of your life, hold on to those 
Who are true and just, pure, and honorable 
Hold on tight to those who cheer you on 
No matter the costs, they will be there 
Hold on tight to those lift you up who you to succeed 
 
 
Hold on to them and let go of the rest.  

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Thank You

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As many of you already know, we have decided to shut down CEW as an AI streaming league. I just wanted to thank everyone who came out and watched the show. When it first started, I was terrified of being on camera and while I might have made a fool of myself on numerous occasions; I became more confident as the show went on. This helped me tremendously as I have always been worried about what others thought of me or how they perceived me. I wanted to thank you for coming each Saturday and supporting us and me. We will still be doing matches, but in a different way, and we will let everyone know what we plan when everything is set and running. All our matches will be on YouTube and anything else we stream. Our page will remain as we have other things we want to stream.

Thank you again for all of your support.

Our page is not gone. We will be streaming other things. We are working on streaming Dungeons and Dragons among other table top RPG games. (Vampire Masquerade, Mutants and Masterminds) I will be streaming more video games and doing writing sprints as well as author interviews. Maybe the occasional wrestling match, we shall see.


Stay tuned.

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Forgotten

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The wind blows as the seasons' change 
A change of direction and all is lost 
I sit looking out wondering where I went wrong 
 
Lost in an endless sea of winds as my heart 
Breaks and scatters on the wind 
 
The current takes me away, rushing past 
I float away looking back, seeing I am nothing 
Nothing floating away, drifting endlessly 
In a sea of doubt, the current takes me 
 
As the tides go out, I am left drifting. 
Drifting in and out as the sea roars on 
Lost as I wonder where I went wrong.

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Waves

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The wind blows as the seasons' change 
A change of direction and all is lost 
I sit looking out wondering where I went wrong 
 
Lost in an endless sea of winds as my heart 
Breaks and scatters on the wind 
 
The current takes me away, rushing past 
I float away looking back, seeing I am nothing 
Nothing floating away, drifting endlessly 
In a sea of doubt, the current takes me 
 
As the tides go out, I am left drifting. 
Drifting in and out as the sea roars on 
Lost as I wonder where I went wrong.

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Drama Friends

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How do you help the ones who want no help? 
How do you help the ones who will not listen? 
Do you let them get hurt again? 
Do you help them even after they push you away? 
 
They seek friends who mean nothing to them while pushing away the ones who do. 
They stir the drama pot when things are boring. 
They go out with guys that treat them poorly. 
How do you help them when you were the one pushed away? 
 
Do you forget them and move on? 
Do you pray from the sideline? 
Or do you cry? 
for you are the one who is not wanted?

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Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who is celebrating today!

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