I am frustrated with myself.
No matter how many times someone builds me up, 
My anxiety and self-doubt creep in.

Most of the time I tell myself that I am not good enough.
That I can’t do this or that,
That everyone else is better than I am.

It can’t be helped, after all these years.
That I would be more confident
But I’m not.

I am afraid.
I am afraid that the people who love me.
That they will grow tired of my doubts.
They will grow tired of giving me affirmations, that I don’t believe
And I will lose them.

I don't want to lose them.
I love them.
I wish I was different.