Rebuild

Tempers flared, our words hurt as

Our tongues lashed shameful insults

Faith destroyed as trust was broken

Others more important and the safety of a friendship

Tarnished by words

A poison of words hurt both

We licked our wounds

Bandaged ourselves up and went on with our lives

Were you feeling victorious after such a battle??

Did you hurt as I did?

Did it feel good to throw a friendship away?

Or perhaps it was not as important to you as it was to me?

Were you as lost and as broken as I?

Did you long to talk to me as I longed to talk to you?

How do we move on from this? Is there a way of getting back what we lost or did we push all of that away?

Is there too much hurt and mistrust now?

Where is the friendship we had before?

Is the road back too difficult

Covered with thorns and weeds of places long forgotten

Can we forge through and find our way back or become lost once again

On the road to recovery.

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Let me be me

Let me be me

Let me wear unmatched socks

Let me sign in the shower

And dance while I’m cooking

Let me be me

In all my odd behaviors

In all my rash moments

Call me eccentric

Call me odd

Call me anything but let me be me.

Let me paint. Let me write

Let me sing and let me dance

Let me make a fool of myself

Let me laugh at myself

Let me be me

The Morning

 

The alarm resounds in my head and I grumble and moan.

It pulls me from my slumber with a start.

My blankets wrapped around me keeping me warm as the cold morning air hits me.

 

I pull the covers over my head.

It can’t be morning already.

I want to hide from everyone and everything.

Just lay and look up at the ceiling and dream.

 

I want to hide from the world and pull the blankets closer.

The cold morning air wakes me, but I retreat under the covers.

Never leave the warmth and safety of the bed

Just lay and look up at the ceiling and dream.

 

I lay alone with all my thoughts,

The quiet in the morning

No one expecting anything from me

In this quiet time, oh the thoughts that come

 

Alas I must rise, each day the same

Running a race that never ends

 

Let me pull the covers back over my head.

The race never ends, just to take some days alone with my kids.

No work, no stress, just me and my kids.

 

Women Need to Support Other Women

 

Women need to support other women!

Women rarely support each other.  It is hard to find women that support each other.  

When I was in school, kids bullied me.  My mom was the sick mom with cancer and we didn’t have a lot of money, My clothes were old and torn. Since then I had low self-esteem.

I found later that writing was something I loved. And when I found Roleplay,  I made friends fast, and I didn’t believe it. Someone told me I was their best friend, and I took a long time to believe it. Because who wants me as a best friend?

When it comes to Role Play, it seems a lot of women think they must be the center of attention.  In a role play, you can be anyone you want to be. I find people change who they are and use fake profiles because they are not happy with themselves.

Role Play is best when you let people be creative. We’ve had some awesome plots that were not created by admins. My friend Breen created two plots that were amazing. I know will blush if she reads this but its true. 

Women should be supporting each other and encouraging each other. We should take a step back and allow others to have the spotlight on them.

Of course, this goes beyond writing and role-playing and into everything we do. Women need to support each other and lift each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Heart as Black as Your Soul

You strike first, but then I strike back!

Did you expect me to sit and take your crap?

Did you expect me to roll over and play dead?

FOR YOU???

You call foul

Lick your wounds and cry

A pathetic wail as if you were innocent.

Do you think the others care?

Did you expect me to do nothing?

To sit back and curl up in a ball

And shrink into oblivion?

While you attack me?

Did you not think I would defend myself?

I lash back, and you play the victim

Did you want me to curl up in a ball, cry and hide?

I lashed back! You couldn’t handle it.

Did you expect to hurt me?

Was that your goal?

I suppose that was your mission, to crush the things I love.

I might seem tough but I’m dying inside.

You have taken something I love and tarnished it with your words.

Your barrage of words, and actions that eat away at my soul

Warping my mind, decaying my soul

making me question everyone and everything

But I suppose that is what you wanted.

You strike first, but I strike back

The claws came out, and you cried foul

You cry and coil away when others

See you like the snake.

Is it fun to be the bully?

Do you get a rush crushing others?

I might strike back, but then I fade

I hide away and cry.

You take what I love and crush it, till it is nothing

I suppose that was your goal when your heart is black as your soul.