42, it rings in my ears at each age

Growing closer at each step

At age 11 it was a distant number

but now sitting at 41, the horror sets in.

An age that was once so far away

now sits on my doorstep

Will the same fate befall me?

Will my kids lose everything, all in one day?

One long dreadful day

It felt like the sun would never rise

and my heart would never mend.

The hole in my heart and

The despair that I would never

See you again.

All the things you missed.

All the times I needed you.

All the times I tell my kids.

Who you are, so they know,

And love you as much as I do,

But they will never truly know!

Oh, this horrid age,

The despair comes back and the fears.

Will my kids live without me,

As I lived without you.

A mother’s worse fear and a daughters reality.


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