I give up on Sleep

I give up on sleep!

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A note to all new mommies out there. This phase will not last long. Treasure it while you can. Treasure those times cuddling while your baby eats. Treasure this special time with them, for soon they will sleep all night and so will you; but you will miss your cuddling time.

I give up on sleep.  I have tried and failed.  My son Van is up every two hours to eat.  He sleeps a lot during the day, which is frustrating because his sister is up all day.  This makes for one tired mommy. I was breastfeeding until a few days ago. During this time, I walked through life like a zombie.  In dire need of caffeine, I switched to baby formula instead of breastfeeding. I would have switched to formula soon anyway, because I won’t be able to breastfeed while at work, but this is a little earlier than I planned on.  I feel bad, because I know that breast milk is the best for the baby, but I was exhausted.

I know people who have gone back to work right after having a baby and I can’t figure out how they do it. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. The long nights for breastfeeding took a toll on me.  My husband told me that most people do not have C-section and I should not compare myself to others.   He said, “They inflicted a mortal wound on you, and then they stitched you up and gave you a baby to take care of.  So you are healing and breastfeeding.”

My husband can help me feed Van a little but, it is still me feeding him most of the time. I don’t mind. It is my time with him and I treasure that.  Having my husband just take one feeding is letting me sleep a good 4 hours which was better than what I was getting before.

At least I can have coffee now!  My daughter has also been mommy needy.  I felt bad because I couldn’t give her all the attention she needed.  I know that she has to get used to it, but today I was feeding Van and Zelda was screaming.  She was just screaming for attention, but it made mommy very sad.

How am I going to do this when I go back to work?  I don’t have the option to stay home.  I know there is a great debate between mothers who stay home and mothers who work.  Some of my friends are stay at home moms and have told me to just cut back on what we spend and I could stay home too.  Well, I’m sure if they looked at my finances they would see that was impossible. I carry the family health insurance, and we need the money.  I have decided not to go back to my part-time job. I haven’t told them yet. By not working there, it will give me some extra time with the kids.

Okay well it is five in the morning and the baby is up.  Time for mommy to make coffee.

 

Remember, this time does not last long. You might feel like your entire life will be nothing more diapers and bottles; but it won’t be. Treasure this time. 

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